Lisa Woodman is lining herself up to be on the Jeremy Kyle Halloween special!!
Seriously though, will folks stop at absolutly nothing to get cheap, gutter press publicity these days? And YES I am making it worse by blogging about it too. But as my comment about said "cheap publicity" was deleted on the Suns comments page for this article, I feel I just have to speak out!
So what next in the illustrious career of mum of 4, Miss Woodman?
Big brother, Strictly, Celebrity get me out of here, Jeremy Kyle and God FORBID, Dr Who!...?????
I shudder to think!
Ok, she is most likely a very nice lady, but let us look at what she is trying to achieve here. She is an aspiring glamour model!! But at the risk of sounding bitchy she certainly does not look 28. My old school girl mates, all now in their mid 40's look much better than this, and some are even grandmothers!! She looks at least 10 years older than her stated age, so lets say for arguments sake she IS 38, at that age she IS far too old for glamour modeling, as most glamour model agencies would tell her. In my own expierence I was signed to the Fiona Martin school of modeling and charm at the age of 4, and did child model catalouge shoots in the early 70's. I freaking HATED IT!! Basically I was a tom-boy and hated the pretty frocks and fancy hairdoo's with a vengence. Things came to a head when Fiona Martin loudly announced to my astonished mother...
"Mrs Short!! your daughter will never make a model!! SHE WALKS LIKE A FARMER!!!"
So whats the point of this I hear you saying?
Well model agencies (albeit legit ones) are generally very strict on who they signe. At the end of the day they are a business and are out to make money...very sadly I feel that this lady will atract the "wrong" type of offers, like porn work. And as a responsible mother of 4, she should think very carefully about accepting such offers, but if thats what she does want well all well and good, but personally I feel her children should be her first priority.
Now lets look at this ladies photo in modelling terms:
Frankly the good Lord did not bless her with pretty looks. But this should not really matter as lots of models are not pretty. Kate Moss is very much a plain Jane as are others I should mention, but these are mostly catwalk models, who really only need to look like a walking clothes hanger to make money. Glamour modeling DOES need a pretty face, to some degree. But any lady CAN look very pretty with the right make up. I am not pretty, and look like a monster in the mornings, but for years I have been told my green eyes are my best facial feature, so with make up, I can skillfully make the most of them. Someone also cruelly announced on a Dr Who forum that I "am ugly with a face full of zits" (spots). This upset me greatly as I suffer from polcystic overies and a symptom of this is spots arround the time of my period. But again with carefull make-up this can be easily disguised. However this lady does have a very good figure! Most women would kill for a figure like hers and she has even had 4 kids! But with the over inflated boobs she just looks odd to me. Women with naturally large boobs, myself inncluded, are usually on the dumpy side...if I was her I would get them reduced slightly, maybe to a D instead of her current FF cup. I can just imagin her toppling over for being top heavy! Basically if she wants achieve her goals I would suggest a total make-over, and loose the straw like blonde hair!! Straw like blonde, over-dyed hair does not look good on any lady of whatever age...Saying all this though I do wish this lady well in her quest. But pulling cheap publicity stunts like the one in the Sun, she is just lowering herself and what she really needs is a massive dose of self respect.
And FORGODNESS SAKE!!! LOOSE THE DOMINATRIX PORN CLOTHES!!
Reserve them for the privacy of the bedroom.
Anyway this is a VERY heavily photoshopped picture of Miss Woodman in super hero mode
"Is it a bird?....is it a plane?...no its... SUPER-BOOBIE-WOMAN"
